just a smidgen

to the one who knocks

copyright @designhorf photography

This past Friday I arrived on time for my appointment with my life coach. -16F temperatures wrenched at my coat as I stood shivering outside her office building, wondering if she’d forgotten, texting with numb fingers to be let in.

I contemplated my choices, retreat back to my car until I heard from her or stand in faith that she would be there any minute. But today, on impulse, I decided to just try the door. I pulled on the handle and to my amazement, it swung wide and let me into the welcome warmth of the building.

Life has always had a way of teaching me through metaphor, God instructs through words but also through signs and symbols that one can come across daily.. if we remember to watch for them.

I was amazed that this door would open so easily for me, just because I had decided to try. This is a door that is securely locked and has never been open in the past. I thought about the time I had wasted standing frozen outside assuming that the door would be locked.

It made me wonder how many doors in my life have I stood behind, lost, shivering, waiting and praying for the door to be opened by someone else so that I could enter. How many doors have I stood behind feeling not worthy enough to deserve everything waiting behind that door?

Most remarkably has been the door that has called me back into God’s presence this past month. How long have I stood in shame, longing for a loving connection that has always seemed to elude yet has been open and available for me had I just easily pulled the door open and walked through.

Decisions throughout my life that have aligned with my gifts and my intended spiritual journey have always been met with doors that opened readily. I know that the times in my life where doors have been locked sometimes meant I was headed in a direction I should not be going. There have been many times when I’ve pulled on the wrong doors, tried unlocking them with every key I could get my hands on and even banged, crying on those same doors to be let in.

Somewhere inside me was also this anxious person who had decided that so many doors were locked and unavailable to me that it wasn’t worth the attempt. I made the incorrect and unloving assumption that there were some doors that would never be achievable for me.

I wonder now, what doors in my life have I never tried to walk through and, subsequently, what opportunities have I missed because of some fear of failure, unworthiness or lack of self-compassion? Which doors have I allowed others to open for me that I could have opened myself? Yet when have I also stood aside and allowed a loving hand to reach around me to hold the door open for me?

But I know better, now, when I trust and have faith in the Universe and God, it seems the doors swing wide for me if I am following a  path that resonates with my true purpose on this earth. Today I am opening so many doors that connect me with my creative, authentic self. My childlike wonder is no longer a “side-bar” but a fulfilling life that I have entered into and embraced. Each day I strive to be fully present and self-aware in creating and living God’s promise.

Family and friends, even strangers have come into my life through their own doors, entering with their beautiful, intrinsic gifts that they share with me in celebration of our lives as we journey together on this earth.

I think the future should be limited only by the belief that anything is possible, everything could be available to all of us, if we just try pulling on that door.

How could I have thought that life had to be so hard and believed that doors couldn’t just be unlocked, open and waiting for us to enter?

Yes, so many doors are already open, have always been open..

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. for everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

love and blessings,

barbara

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