just a smidgen

photo © tim marshall

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photo © inge-marie

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if you’ve been searching

to find your

purpose

i want to

encourage

you to try making a

vision board

it’s such an easy and

beautiful

way to map

out your

dreams

in a visual form-

i love displaying it in a prominent area of my home

there is no right or wrong

just gather a variety of magazines

cut out pictures and words

that

resonate

and glue on the size and color of poster board you love

mine is a large sheet of watercolour paper

each area of interest

has a number of words and pictures to

depict

it clearly

and also

{ artistically }

of course

i play a beautiful piece

Pachelbel’s Canon in D

here it is so you can use it if you wish..

the first time through the piece, i meditate on

each item on my

board

then the second time through

i close my eyes

pray

and

meditate

and see which areas i am most strongly

drawn to

other times

i run through

a complete day

in my

imagination

right from the moment of waking up

and living each and every minute of the

perfect day

lived according to my

vision and dreams

i think it would be a fun exercise to do with girlfriends

gathering together, sharing

inspiration

if you make your own vision board, i’d love to see it!

My friend and i did a live video on Facebook that gives you a number of other ways to find your purpose as well, so if a vision board doesn’t strike a chord, make sure to check it out.

Love,

Barbara

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There isn’t anything more particularly human than the vulnerability of being in a meaningful relationship and experiencing that singular joy found in a new other’s presence. But all relationships are finite: friendships change, lovers part ways, life-long loves are lost through death. Nothing can feel more painful than the disappearance of this person from our lives.

It can be so easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new love, so easy to focus on projecting future dreams and possibilities with this significant other. Often, when first in love and infatuated, the wash of endorphins commingling can project a future that becomes almost surreal or fantastical in nature. Such is the nature of our investment in this other person who we almost deify for having transformed our lives. No one’s smile is sweeter, no one’s laughter will ever lift our hearts in quite the same way. Their love also reflects back everything beautiful that they see in us, we feel we are our “best selves” when in relationship with those who cherish us.

This is also what makes parting ways so much more distressing, it’s the end of a very intimately invested vision of our lover, our selves and our future.

The greater the depth of love for one another, even in friendship, the more likely you will find yourself lost once this person is no longer in your life. When we project and dream about how a future could manifest, there can be a loss of self that happens, a loss of self outside of this relationship that leaves you “stumbling in the dark” after they are gone.

There is a miraculous alchemy that takes place when two people share their deepest selves with one another. You may feel that you will never again find a love like this. There is no question that this particular alliance can never be “duplicated” in any other relationship going forward. But I also believe that another wonderful and perhaps even more fitting alchemy of two is always possible. I believe every person who meets us in our lives is sent to us for a purpose, even if only for a season, there is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and to grow through this person’s impact on us. If they brought a nurturing component to your life, perhaps you can learn to manifest that nurturing trait in yourself going forward.

If we can integrate the unique attributes we’ve explored together, we benefit in having discovered so much more about ourselves. We have the opportunity to experience a fuller, richer life than would be possible without having had the blessing of the love found with that other person.

Yet still we grieve, I hope this video will help you find ways to move through this experience and see the joy that waits ahead for you. Wishing you all peace and more love.

So much thanks and blessings for my friend Amos for helping to make my first video, for exploring this topic and sharing his thoughts and wisdom.

Love,

Barbara

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Turn on Instagram or any social media like Facebook and you’ll come across an abundance of articles, quotes and “thoughts for the day” on how to life a “better life”. I love posting my own, not to inspire {although it would be a blessing if they did} but as a reminder for myself. It’s my way of creating snapshots of lessons learned, progress I’ve made on my journey.

Some aphorisms have been posted so often that I’d been accepting them as truth on a surface level, without actually processing their meaning for my life. Like this quote, for instance:

I understand the gift of mindfulness and have tried to practice this, staying in the moment, fully aware and cognizant of the blessings inherent in that place and space in time.

This past weekend my personal understanding of mindfulness was expanded with a new view that I feel to be more true for me now, it goes something like this (loosely quoted from a lecture):

“The real definition of maturity is to live in the past, present and the future and to not choose one.”

David Whyte

I love having any core belief of mine challenged, pushing beyond boundaries and ideas that I’ve constructed based on someone else’s truth. This one really resonated for me. I now wonder that to be fully “present” might not only be having mindfulness in the moment, but also to be fully aware and embracing where we’ve come from and all that this does to inform both the present and the promise for our future. Our truth, perhaps, could exist in the integration of all three.

If experiences in the present can inform and change our perception of the past, just as it can transform our future possibilities, David also spoke about being the ancestor or steward for our future happiness. What choices could we make today that our future self would look back on and be thankful for? Imagine the potential for making different choices in the moment. Somehow I had the understand that being “present” was living almost hedonistically whilst fully embracing the moment without thought for the future. I know I have fluctuated between being fearful and closed-minded at times and impulsive at others when making decisions in the moment. How lovely to imagine my future self thanking my present self for being more deliberate in the present.

Perhaps being informed by our past helps us embrace the present more fully. Past sorrow enables present inconceivable joy, prior joy creates a greater depth of present sorrow. All are necessary to be fully human and vulnerable in our lives.

In a way, time is suspended when we bring together the past, present and future. there is an integrity, a greater depth of knowing that can take place. For me, this is a broader, more comprehensive way to imagine mindfulness.

Love,

Barbara

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