The Petulant Chef Bakes a Batch of Granola

When feeling oppressed by Mother Nature‘s fresh dump of snow, one must resolve to stay strong and not burst into tears, but to create a lovely spring of one’s own. In order to do so, one must endeavor to not look outside, buy brightly colored tulips, put on some Bach and spend the afternoon making a fragrant batch of Granola. This is well worth the effort and guaranteed to make breakfasts heavenly for the next few months.

So, after purchasing the most cheerful bouquet you can lay your hands on, here is the list of ingredients you require. They are conveniently measured by the size of the packages found at your local grocers.

The Petulant Chef Granola

Ingredients

2.25 kg rolled oats
2x 350 g medium unsweetened coconut
500 g box of All Bran Flakes
440 g box of Grape Nuts
1 cup All Bran Buds
1 cup Pure Natural Wheat Bran
1 1/2 cups Oat Bran
1 cup wheat germ
4 cups pumpkin seeds (if using salted/roasted then I omit the salt below)
4 cups sunflower seeds (ditto above)
3x 200 g natural slivered almonds (optional)
2 cups chopped pecans (optional)
4 cups dried apricots
4 cups dried cranberries
1 liter of honey
2x 250 g maple syrup
2 cups canola oil
2 cups water
3 tsp vanilla
3 tsp salt (optional)

Instructions

So, to begin all roasting pans and those of your neighbors should be sought out and sprayed with a non-stick cooking spray. (This recipe makes vast quantities of granola… so you could safely half or quarter the recipe and still feel like you’ve accomplished something. Just a little extra measuring would be required.)
First things first, you require an overly large, beastly size of mixing bowl. This one was found at a restaurant cooking supply store, where one could spend another entire afternoon on a snowy spring day… but I digress.
Into this mixing bowl you must add all of the dry ingredients beginning with the oats and finishing with the sunflower seeds.
Your dried ingredients can be mixed with two massive wooden spoons or (hold breath) your hands. There’s something incredibly satisfying and child-like to mix by hand.
Meanwhile, on the stove you can pour and measure in the last set of ingredients, beginning with the honey.
The maple syrup and all other ingredients, for that matter, can be organic if you wish.
The amount of cinnamon can be adjusted to your own taste, I thought I could have added more…
Whisk over a medium heat until all mixed, melted and yummy looking… about 5-10 minutes.
Carefully pour the liquid over the bowl of dry ingredients. Again, using a spoon (or your hands:) mix everything together. At this point I separate a smaller amount into another bowl and keep this for my “nut free” batch. Then add the nuts to the rest, pour into separate roasting pans. I filled 2 large roasters and 3 9×13 cake tins.
Chop up apricots while the granola is baking in a 350F oven for approx. 1 hour, depending on the temperature of your oven. **Check and stir ever 20 minutes for even browning.
Let the granola cool when done and stir in the dried fruit. Yummy with yogurt, I freeze the rest and share with friends…

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So, to begin all roasting pans and those of your neighbors should be sought out and sprayed with a non-stick cooking spray. (This recipe makes vast quantities of granola… so you could safely half or quarter the recipe and still feel like you’ve accomplished something. Just a little extra measuring would be required.)

First things first, you require an overly large, beastly size of mixing bowl. This one was found at a restaurant cooking supply store, where one could spend another entire afternoon on a snowy spring day… but I digress.
Into this mixing bowl you must add all of the dry ingredients beginning with the oats and finishing with the sunflower seeds.

At this point, you must certainly stop and make yourself and your dog a cup of tea… or whatever it is you fancy in the middle of a snowy afternoon. Perhaps coffee and baileys?? Yes, my crazy dog loves tea, he just gets a different sort of cup.

Now, back to it, your dried ingredients can be mixed with two massive wooden spoons or (hold breath) your hands. There’s something incredibly satisfying and child-like to mix by hand.

Meanwhile, on the stove you can pour and measure in the last set of ingredients, beginning with the honey.

The maple syrup and all other ingredients, for that matter, can be organic if you wish.

The amount of cinnamon can be adjusted to your own taste, I thought I could have added more…

Whisk over a medium heat until all mixed, melted and yummy looking… about 5-10 minutes.

Carefully pour the liquid over the bowl of dry ingredients. Again, using a spoon (or your hands:) mix everything together. At this point I separate a smaller amount into another bowl and keep this for my “nut free” batch. Then add the nuts to the rest, pour into separate roasting pans. I filled 2 large roasters and 3 9×13 cake tins.

Chop up apricots while the granola is baking in a 350F oven for approx. 1 hour, depending on the temperature of your oven. **Check and stir ever 20 minutes for even browning.