For early morning candlelight meditation, I love to sit in complete silence and check in. I move from my mind down through my body and then rest in my heart. I look inside to see myself there, I wonder then which emotion I will find today.. peace, quiet, restlessness, love?

This morning I feel moved to look at my last vision board, to reconnect with my past self from a time when I was on my own looking to create a new future. But so much more than that, I am seeking to discover my essence. I now see layered within the images, like colors embedded within the flow of pictures, the lessons I’ve learned and experiences laid down on my life since then. I see my new self emerging.

Then I turn my gaze to my new Vision Board to see the blessings already gifted and those waiting to unfold. After this time of quiet checking in, I play the most beautiful piece, Snatum Kaur’s “Wisdom” from her Mantras for Divine Grace Album (Spotify), close my eyes, sing and meditate: “Oh my beloved, kindness of the heart, breath of life, I bow to you.”

I see myself in this new dream, my self as a 5 year old, 15 year old, then as a young mother all from within, from where I am in this meditation. Together in this beautiful day-dream we celebrate and acknowledge with forgiveness the lessons learned. I bless these past selves with scented oils and rejoice with gratefulness this life “we” have been gifted, the past, the present, the love made and created. I see my children, then, and feel so moved with the love and beauty of it all. Still others join and we clasp hands.. so much love now. I have only tears of peace and the joy that resonates all around.. vibrating even in the leaves on trees in this bright, light filled forest where we stand on a rose petaled path.

Then a poem emerges, one to celebrate self-acceptance and self-love. This has been my struggle, still is.. but I’m starting to integrate these past selves and the gifts of a life led with both the shadow and the light.

My Beloved

don’t be afraid of the
alone
in this silence
you can meet
yourself
wander away from
your thoughts
seek your innermost
heart
find the center of
your self
connect there, see,
feel your place..
the soul’s home
at long last
you will know
this self, have
uncovered all of the
fears
the yearning
and at long last
found peace and
love

Barbara J – March 14, 2019

If you are looking to heal, meditation is a wonderful place to begin the journey within.

Blessings,

Barbara J