i imagined,
just yesterday
that there is
one simple
truth..
and
only one
moment
of complete
and utter
clarity-
of the purest
sort of
honesty,
when we would
look back
and tell
ourselves
that it’s not time,
not yet..
not now-
that none of it
really mattered,
except..
i haven’t stood on those
mountains right there,
haven’t heard my song
echoing back
in my ears,
felt the hot sun on my face
in this garden here..
and
there’s a chickadee
waiting for
the palm
of my hand
outstretched
and
so many brushes
to be heavy filled
with paint,
white canvases to explore..
places for my hands and
eyes to hold fast-
yes, wait,
not just yet..
i haven’t loved enough
i haven’t loved you enough
i haven’t said i love you enough

Barbara Barry, November 5, 2020

only then