Arguably Instagram and Facebook could be simultaneously described as the ultimate source of both my inspiration and frustration. I regularly follow a “core group” of friends but the rest change constantly. 

One month I am into photography and will follow every landscape photographer I can find and I love the inspiration from that. Fast forward and the flavour of the moment could be tattoos: who makes them, which ones do I like and how can I locate the artist. For me, this is a great way to navigate the playground of social media. If there’s something I’d like to learn more about, create, discover, it’s all there with a scroll and click.

Of course there’s the much discussed “darker side” of social media. I’m not going to whinge on here about the FOMO syndrome from seeing how amazing everyone else’s life appears. It’s been said before and I get it, nothing is as perfect as it seems.

But what if you could set aside that little green monster in your head for a moment and realize that along with that fear of missing out, there is the real fear of you missing out on your own life.

If I am scrolling and following dozens of rock climbing profiles and feeling envious, shouldn’t that be a major “tell” that that’s something I could be pursuing? It’s so easy to sit back and feel jealous and then pat myself on the back and tell myself it’s ok, they probably have all kinds of negative crap going on in their lives too.

I think the tougher choice is to look deeper into yourself and to discover that longing, those parts of your life that ache for more. Those landscape artists.. yeah maybe I should try that. Those kids in camper vans rocking Thailand, maybe it’s time I went.

I think it could be a question of either “wallowing” or of accepting the call. The call to do.. something, anything.. to take that risk. No more excuses.

And then there’s this little thing called Intent. Intent matters to me, in fact it’s everything and every reason why I will or won’t follow someone. Show me those simple joys in your family life? I’m in. Lay out your adventures in full chroma panoramic cinematic photography? Hell yeah.. maybe I’ll get to go there some day. Tried to create something but failed? Love it. Dare to be hilarious? I’ll follow you to the end of Instagram and back. But then there’s that other intent, the one I used to think was just showing off (and maybe sometimes it is). But I’ve been doing a little thinking (go figure) and I know there’s definitely more than validation going on there.

If we look beyond the need for validation, I think we’d also find the innate drive for connection, the hope that your life actually means something to someone.. anyone.. out there who might be checking in on your profile now and then.

Going deeper still, behind and beyond all of this is also a real desire to matter. A longing to declare that we’re here on the planet and that we’ve made a difference. That someone out there cares that we’re in the very human struggle to make meaning out of our lives. For me, this is probably not the “darkest” side of social media.. but can also sometimes be the saddest.

To journal our lives while hoping that this will create a sense of community, a feeling of belonging goes way beyond the need to feel validated. Sometimes this comes from a place of feeling incredibly alone and of the struggle to create some sort of connection online. Not always, but sometimes.

Caveat: no judging here

And then in other instances, I wonder why that other person (you know, the one who is actually with you and taking the photograph) isn’t “enough” of a human connection for you. Why isn’t the experience in that very moment enough of a connection to be everything that matters. Why does there have to be this massive audience of thousands? Maybe this is just ego at play. 

And don’t get me started on monetization.

Alternatively, if you’re incredibly overflowing with joy for an experience you’ve just had.. by all means, share so we can celebrate with you!

Intimacy, true intimacy happens in that moment, in the dialogue that’s captured between the photographer and subject, climber and belayer, traveler and partner, between friends and even in the flow between an artist and her inner creative self. That’s who truly feels the connection. So maybe that just makes the rest of us nothing more than voyeurs?

Want me to know what’s going on, to experience what living with you is like, pick up the phone and invite me over or out. I’d love to hear your story, but told in your voice, shown in the expression on your face while talking and I’d love to have the chance to read your body language when you get caught up in the retelling.

I think social media is really such a basic and two dimensional means to connect that falls flat in the face of any real human connection. Unless..

it’s inspiring us to do more, be more. It definitely has a place for that.

Have an amazing day and if you get up to something cool, don’t be afraid to share it on Instagram.. I’ll be watching 😉

Love,

Barbara