I’ll be lucky to get this all down without stopping to cry after every word.

There’s some unspoken “thing” that happens when you turn 60. I remember thinking that I’d never live past 18, because how on earth could I ever be that “old”. But such is life, it has a way of surprising you;) Now I’m being asked what it feels like and “what I know for sure” now that I have 60 years of experience behind me. 

I do wish I could go back to my 18 year old self and know everything then that I know now.  “Only a fool thinks himself to be wise” (Shakespeare), but surely some wisdom belongs to the “old” ones or just those who “go before you”. So here I go.. before you, because I certainly don’t feel old!

*Disclaimer: this is by no means a comprehensive list, I’m sure I’ll realize I’ve left something out (see Number Four) and please comment if you’ve got “Number Eleven” worked out for us:)

Number One

Doubt will alway be your companion. Uncertainty about who  you are, where you belong, which character you are in this strange play called Life. I don’t think we know for certain who we are until our very last breath because I don’t think we ever “become”.. we are always just on the approach. We are always learning, creating, changing ourselves until we think we’ve got it right. But I think doubt can be your ally, the catalyst that keeps you wondering if you are where you should be, if your life aligns with your Big Plan.

And if you embrace it, there’s something so staggeringly beautiful about doubt and the process of becoming. Something so heartbreakingly magnificent about the struggle to just become everything we hope we are “supposed” to be. We’ve been blessed with this rare opportunity, the 1 in 400 trillion chance that we are here in the first place. So right or wrong, amazing or disappointing, in certainty and in confusion, we are all here just trying to get this thing right. And never, ever doubt, we are all in this together, every single one of us lives this struggle, whether it looks like it on Instagram or not;)

Number Two

We are all on loan to each other. I can’t claim to have authored this bit of wisdom, this was gifted to us by a stranger in San Miguel de Allende, it was gifted to her from a friend, and so on. We are all so so blessed with the presence of the people in our lives who help us chart our course. The parents and loved ones who nudge us back on our path, back in the right direction. Maybe it’s that friend you’ve had and will have for a lifetime, just a person who smiles back at you or the opportune meeting of a person who shares a timely bit of wisdom with you.

I think even the detractors in our lives remind us to stay authentic and true to ourselves. May we never take this for granted, those chance meetings, the friendships, the loved ones, families and “chosen” families, even adversaries who challenge us as we walk through this thing called life.

Number Three

Feel everything.. feel the fear, the anxiety, the terror, the love, the joy, the disappointment, the sorrow, the anguish, the boredom, the surprise. This place was designed to bring it all to us, even tears of sadness can make us feel astoundingly more alive than an existence that denies and suppresses the expression of emotion. Life isn’t the flat road stretching.. it’s the climb of mountains, a sojourn of disappearing footprints washed in an ocean’s tide and every single crossroad you will  face.

Number Four

About those crossroads.. you will never know if you got it right. I think a crossroad can give you more than one “right” choice. The regret for a “road not taken” is wasted energy. Go back and take that path now. There’s always time to change your mind, to retrace and rethink decisions you’ve made. Make a plan, dream, design a Vision Board but remember that none of life is written in stone. This is the blessed gift of time, the joy found in rediscovering, reworking, rethinking how your life is going to look and taking another shot at it when we can. There are no mistakes.. only second, third and fourth chances.

Number Five

This should have been Number One, but I’m typing as it flows through my mind.. LOVE, love like your life depends upon it because it does. Love yourself in all your magnificent beauty. Love without expectation or terms. Because  love is the one emotion that can be so pure if you will allow it. It can be selfless and powerful all at once. It will surprise you, astound you if you let it in. This is the whole point  of being alive. When in conflict or a hand is extended in connection, never turn away, but turn “towards” in love. Without love and connection, life becomes mediocre when it could be brilliant. 

Number  Six

Meaningfulness happens when you find something to love in everyone. Which leads me to Number Six. Sometimes I’ve been told to take off my rose coloured glasses.. but I’ve recently decided that I kind of like them. I think you can connect in the most unusual of places if you open your heart a little (see Number Five). Simple conversation in an art gallery or after a concert can inspire you or bring an artist to your city if you wish. Invitations to chat over dinner with a stranger can bring about a memorable night of story telling.

I came across a Thai Chi group just yesterday. Curious, I set down my coat and backpack and stepped in. They encouraged me to stand behind their instructor so I could more easily follow. It opened my eyes to a culture I’ve never experienced, an unexpected grace, new potential friends with promises of walks on dim sum Saturdays.  I’ve only recently learned that by being more courageous and open to opportunities to connect, my world can expand. This means that I have to assume I will be received in kindness by strangers and I’m happy to report that I haven’t been turned down yet:) Remember, always “turn towards” new experiences and the people you will find there.

Number Seven

Which leads me to Number Seven.. jump in, take risks. Don’t wait for it to feel right or “safe”. Life doesn’t guarantee, it will rip promises out of your hands if you don’t leap when a gift is offered. Take the adventure, change jobs, keep trying everything until you find something that just feels like “you”.. and then never let it go. Stay with it, develop it, swim through the thick of it until it either becomes part of you, something you feel inspired to share or something you eventually need to let go of after it has served its purpose. My children taught me this one, which is ironic since I’m mostly thinking about them as I write this piece:)

Number Eight

Find your God, the purpose that inspirits from within.. your Allah, Buddha, Creator or Mother Earth that will center you, that brings you peace. Meditate and pray or just take a moment to be still and give thanks for the gift of abundance that is this life. Count every single one of your 108 blessings if that brings you peace. Perhaps your god isn’t something tangible, maybe it’s found in the sheer joy of seeing beauty expressed in nature or in the creation of something magnificent. But find it, photograph it, paint it, write to it, talk to it, give it thanks for the joy that you’ve received in being alive.

Number Nine

Find your values (see Number Eight), be authentic, be the person that everyone would most certainly miss if you were not born. Sit down and write out these values. This will be your truth. This is who you choose to be, what instructs every decision of every day. If you can take the time to be honest with yourself, you can get down to loving yourself and expressing this. Show up every day in a manner that speaks of what you believe, who you believe in, who you are. There is incredible peace in discovering your values and then living them. You’ll find your life resonates with a calm assuredness when you show up every day authentically, after that I think we can just “let go and let God”.

Number Ten

(See Number Nine)Throughout our lives, I think we feel compelled to always wonder who we are at our core. I know for certain that we’re not the degree we’ve received, the paintings painted, the marathon run or the game won. We’re none of these because these are only accomplishments, they’re transitory, fleeting, snapshots on Instagram.

At the heart of everything, I think we are the person people love when we show up with our values aligned with our hearts. We learn from each other in the example set by our lives well lived. It is the essence of us that people love and feel so blessed to know when they discover we are on loan to them, whether for a minute or a lifetime.

I think that maybe it’s enough just to be loved by those who take the time to fully see us in all our imperfect glory..

Namaste ♥